Actions speak louder than words

Actions speak louder than words. What we do means infinitely more than what we say. Actions back and support what we say or believe. It has been estimated that 97% of communication is non-verbal. Consider two real life examples.

Actions:

Canadian delegates walk out of UN in protest as the leader of Iran begins his speech. The message is clear. Others follow. Words: unnecessary.

Words:

Al Gore, environmental activist and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, establishes a legacy on the proclamation of the destruction that mankind is doing to the environment, but lives in a home that uses twice as much electricity as an average U.S. household uses in an entire year. The message is contradictory. Words: hypocritical.

Regardless of your opinion on these issues, which is the better example of leadership?

"We must become the change we want to see." Mahatma Gandhi

Actions speak louder than words

Guidelines for the Competitive

I am competitive. Actually, I am extremely competitive. Like as in; I really like to win. Like as in; I really have to win. Like; when my kids were young, my wife had to constantly coach and remind me to allow them to occasionally win when I played games with them. I play to win. I make mini competitions, even if only in my own head, within every project or activity. If I am alone – I compete against myself – i.e., last time I did my run in X minutes – now I'll go for less. If I am with someone else – even better – I find something, anything, to compete with them on.

You might think that I am a little extreme – I am. I play card games for keeps and have an insatiable desire to always gain the pole position at traffic lights. While I may be a little over the top, I know that I am not alone in the competitive mindset. I think that most, if not all, of us have this to some extent. I also think that there is value to being competitive. Why? It drives us to become better, to increase and improve. It causes us to stretch beyond what we would otherwise. This applies to individuals, personal relationships and organizations of any size, shape or form. Competition causes organizations to become more cost effective, more productive and more efficient. Competition is healthy and good.

However, as with anything in this world, taking a good thing too far can have negative consequences.

The "watch-out:" Competitive spirit overriding the benefit of the overall team.

Competition is good, beneficial and fun within the team only when it is fair, meaning: everyone on the team has the same equipment, knowledge and resources. When someone on the team gains a competitive advantage, which is kept to themselves – it moves from competition to selfish ambition.

The challenge for competitive people is to maintain the dividing line between the outside competitor (opposition) and teammates in check. I must keep the playing field level between my teammates and myself. If I have information that they do not have, I must share it.

In a fair competition, it is gratifying to come out on top. Winning at the expense of your own organization is destructive.

Guidelines for the Competitive

Drive by smiling

While turning left at an intersection, as I drove in front of and then past the first vehicle in line stopped at the light, I made eye contact with the driver. Then he smiled at me!

I didn't recognize him. Do I know him? No. I have never seen him before. I check my face – nothing on it. My hair – don't have any. I am dressed aren't I? Yes.

It was random drive by smile. This really rattled me. Why would someone do this?

This is not the first time something like this has happened. In a grocery store, walking down the street – you make eye contact with some stranger and they smile at you. And what do I do? Well . . . I smile back of course.

Research has shown that the act of smiling can cause your emotions to change. In other words: the act of forcing a smile on your face can actually make you feel happier – put you in a better mood. Research has shown that smiling can improve virtually every aspect of our health and lives – from helping us to lose weight to getting a job or promotion.

There are people that go about their lives regularly smiling at people on purpose. When that guy at the light smiled at me – it made me feel better. An unexpected smile by someone that I don't know cultivates a sense of favour on my part toward them – I want to do something for them – help them out.

I have decided that I am going to start doing this – random drive by smiling. Not to get something in return. Just to brighten other people's day – put them, and myself, in a better mood – and perhaps even improve my health.

Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/djou

Drive by smiling

The corporate abs machine

I just saw the latest abs sculpting exercise machine advertised on TV. It looked complicated enough to be an important component off the drive train in the Space Shuttle. We have all seen them - the 30 second commercial full of very fit and sculpted men and women, wearing as little as possible and all little of it - spandex, demonstrating the machine, and suggesting that, I too, could look like them if I had a machine like this.

The reality is that everyone has fantastic looking abs, just like that fit guy or skinny girl in on the commercial – yes you have a six-pack and it looks awesome. The problem is that in most people, that six-pack is not visible – it is just not quite at the surface. Your omentum is in the way. Contrary to popular belief, fuelled by marketing to sell exercise products, doing sit-ups or using that brand new abs machine will not make your abs any more visible. In other words – working one area of your body will not make the fat from that area disappear. Spot reduction is a myth.

Since this is not a fitness blog, what does this have to do with leadership?

We all want the easy fix. That brand new concept, product, program, marketing campaign, strategy, etc. is not going to cover for all of the foundational, structural, cultural, and systemic problems that exist in your organization. Companies that put their hope in that "magic bullet" to fix all of their problems and shortfalls in results are always disappointed. The weaknesses in your company will always limit the great new ideas. For this reason, you must work on the total package – the entire organization – and continuously strive toward excellence in every area.

The people in the abs commercial did not get a body like that from this new exercise gizmo. "What? But I want to believe that it is really this easy." They have a healthy lifestyle which includes great dietary choices and a regular and well rounded exercise program. A great exercise routine can be largely overridden by a poor diet. The great new "thing" in your organization can be completely limited by a negative culture or restrictive systems. This truth is hard to swallow in both cases, and is all too often, completely ignored.

This is not about stealing hope, but rather - facing reality. Hope is important for a team and leaders must be dealers in hope. However, putting all your hope in the "new corporate abs machine" is just as delusionary as expecting that new exercise machine to override decades of neglect of your body.

Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nutted

The corporate abs machine

Should leaders ask for help?

I had a business problem. I was not alone - many of my peers had the same business problem. I believe that there is a solution to every problem. Despite our efforts, collaboration and attention on this problem, we had not been able to develop a satisfactory solution. This was quite frustrating. However, as business leaders – all we could do was press on in our attempts to solve.

I was given some advise – some wise council. Why don't you ask for help? My initial thoughts were: executives don't ask for help - executives solve their own problems. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. This is why men don't ask for directions – it shows helplessness – vulnerability. However, the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that this was just pride – I didn't want to look stupid, inadequate. The truth is that we all have weaknesses – we all need help from time to time. Ignoring that is just arrogance.

So, I did the unthinkable – for an executive – I called my boss and asked for help, admitting that I could not solve this business problem on my own.

I would love to report to you that everything worked out – that my boss appreciated my reaching out for help – that the problem was solved and everyone lived happily ever after. I can't.

Regardless of the outcome of my experience, I realized that humility in leadership is essential. Leaning on the team for help in times of need is critical. The absence of positive results from this is does not indicate that it was a bad idea, but rather indicative of weaknesses in the team in general.

In fact, great leaders can identify and react to those who need help. Strong leadership includes the ability to know when to step in and offer assistance. Consequently, the need to reach out for help is generally non-existent in teams led by great leaders.

Have you ever asked for help? What was your experience?

Related Posts:

Great Leaders

Character

Should leaders ask for help?

A humbling reality – our followers become us

Somewhere around four years ago, I experienced one of those notable lessons in my life. Your followers tend to do what you do - rather than what you expect or say.

The follower in this case was my daughter who was 12 years old at the time. We were driving somewhere and were not on time. She was in the back seat and was very aware of the time issue. We were at a stop sign behind one other vehicle. There was a break in the oncoming traffic that would allow both of us to move past the stop sign and after the break was a train of traffic that did not seem to end. The driver of the vehicle in front of us must have been on time because it became clear that they were in no rush to move. Since I like to coach, I do it whenever I have the opportunity, including the coaching of other drivers despite the fact that they can't hear me. On this occasion, I was only mentally thinking about my coaching tips for the driver in front of me, but to my surprise, my daughter verbalized my thoughts. She was speaking out exactly as she had heard me over the many years that we had spent in the car together – and was unconscious of the fact that this was not great behaviour. My first thought was . . . boy am I glad my wife did not hear that. Really, that was my first thought.

But then, flooding my mind was the realization that my daughter(s), for years, have been watching my impatience while driving and would probably display the same behaviour when they begin driving. I had unintentionally taught my kids to do something that I would never want them to do.

Encarta Dictionary definition of "Lead": guide somebody – to show the way to others, usually by going ahead of them.

Leadership is not just as simple as giving instructions and then everyone follows. We speak with our actions.

Related Posts:

What you DO has more effect than what you SAY

Character

A humbling reality – our followers become us

We should never question leadership – should we?

The movie Valkyrie (2008) increased my faith in human beings. I never quite understood how an entire nation under the leadership of one man could carry out such horrific acts. The film, based on actual events, is about a plot to assassinate Hitler during the height of WWII. Through this film, I learned that this was only one of many failed attempts to eliminate Hitler.

Under Hitler, the majority simply obeyed and executed their orders with excellence completely ignoring any conscience or moral convictions that were within them. They did things right. A small minority of men and women did everything they could to stop the atrocities – many giving their lives in the process. This would have been incredibly hard to do drawing upon unimaginable courage. They did the right thing.

Great leaders stand by their convictions and do not compromise their values, beliefs and integrity – they will question and / or oppose decisions that they believe are wrong.

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. Albert Einstein

Of course, most of us will never face the life and death decisions like those described above, but the same principles apply to everyday leadership / management decisions. The cornerstone of leadership is humility. Leaders that exhibit humility are also prepared to accept questions or challenges themselves from those who are following them.

The next time someone constructively questions a decision or direction, be sure to value his or her courage for asking, to the extent, that he or she would not hesitate to do it again in the future.

We should never question leadership – should we?