Somewhere around four years ago, I experienced one of those notable lessons in my life. Your followers tend to do what you do - rather than what you expect or say.
The follower in this case was my daughter who was 12 years old at the time. We were driving somewhere and were not on time. She was in the back seat and was very aware of the time issue. We were at a stop sign behind one other vehicle. There was a break in the oncoming traffic that would allow both of us to move past the stop sign and after the break was a train of traffic that did not seem to end. The driver of the vehicle in front of us must have been on time because it became clear that they were in no rush to move. Since I like to coach, I do it whenever I have the opportunity, including the coaching of other drivers despite the fact that they can't hear me. On this occasion, I was only mentally thinking about my coaching tips for the driver in front of me, but to my surprise, my daughter verbalized my thoughts. She was speaking out exactly as she had heard me over the many years that we had spent in the car together – and was unconscious of the fact that this was not great behaviour. My first thought was . . . boy am I glad my wife did not hear that. Really, that was my first thought.
But then, flooding my mind was the realization that my daughter(s), for years, have been watching my impatience while driving and would probably display the same behaviour when they begin driving. I had unintentionally taught my kids to do something that I would never want them to do.
Encarta Dictionary definition of "Lead": guide somebody – to show the way to others, usually by going ahead of them.
Leadership is not just as simple as giving instructions and then everyone follows. We speak with our actions.
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