Character is Key

If you ever get the opportunity to be on the reality TV series Survivor, know this: those who swear their allegiance to you by anything or anyone are the ones that you should not trust.

Those who use phrases and / or idioms to emphasize their intent typically demonstrate duplicitous qualities.

• Swearing by (someone or something) to show true sincerity.
• "Cross my heart hope to die," to accentuate honesty.
• "I really mean it," when used to emphasize audacious statements.
• "Just kidding," when it means, "I am really serious but I just saw the look of offence on your face and need to backpedal because I am afraid you will be angry with me."

The brutal reality is: how we do anything is how we do everything. Our intuition informs us to be reluctant with trust towards those who feel the need to "swear by" and put extra emphasis on their oaths. Deep down inside we instinctively know that what we hear in their words will translate to their actions. Those who are wise heed their intuition and are cautious. Anyone that has had their trust violated will realize in hindsight that they ignored their intuition about that individual. Our intuition is a powerful thing and will help to avoid many problems – listen to it.

Am I saying that everyone who says these types of things has an insincere character? Yes, actually I am. And no I am not kidding. Start examining the character of those you know who make these types of statements, either you are already suspicious of their character or you have been ignoring your intuition.

Leaders will be forgiven for almost any mistake except for those that stem from weak character and behaviour that destroys trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil. Mathew 5:37

Character is Key

Focus Magnifies

Concentration of attention directed at any point will magnify that point. Other things become smaller in comparison. A personal crisis puts everything in life into a different perspective; everything else becomes trivial in comparison.

Magnification can be good when it is on the right things, or the right side of the issue. Continuously reminding any individual of their strengths will affect that person in a positive manner and allow them to intensify and utilize those natural talents to grow. Focus on a business problem will put other priorities down the list in terms of importance. That problem will likely get resolved.

However, focus on the negative will magnify the negative. The intensification of problems will not yield positive results. This is similar to planting weed seeds in a garden and then purposely watering them. The weeds will eventually choke out anything good.

You likely know at least someone that spends a great deal of time and energy on the negative. They can be pessimistic about almost anything. Perhaps you are like this. What can you (they) do about this? Unfortunately nothing. Outside of getting a lobotomy, this kind of person is doomed to a life of mediocrity, problems and diminishing returns – they will eventually get sick and die young.

I am kidding . . . sort of.

It is possible for the pessimistic to change but not easy. Using the earlier analogy, one must plant good seeds and water so that they will grow and choke out the weeds. Our thoughts become our words; to change our thoughts, we must change our words. If I speak constructive and positive – I plant good seeds. They [spoken words] may not be what I believe – at first, but by speaking them, I plant the seed in my mind. And, if I continue to speak what I want vs. what I have, they will eventually grow and become my thoughts.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.

Adapted from a quote by Mahatma Gandhi

Focus Magnifies

How fragile is your day

I overheard a college as he answered his phone.

"How are you?" he asks the caller.

"Why is that?" I overhear next but with a tone of concern indicating that the caller advised his day was not going so well.

"Really?" he questions with both concern and disbelief, but then quickly adds this next question, which I will never forget;

"Are you really going to let that define your day?"

It's actually a choice.

How fragile is your day

You tend to get what you expect

We generally receive what we expect. In other words are expectations are usually met.

If you expected 2009 to be a terrible year – it probably was.

If you expect your kid's marks to be low – they likely are.

If you expect results to be low . . . you get the point.

Expectations are not always what we communicate directly – with our words, but rather implied by what is between the words and through our actions.

If I say that I think the economic outlook is bright, but pull back spending in every area, my actions are exposing what I really think.

If I tell you that I think you are managing well and doing a good job, but continue to hold back authority and responsibility – what am I really saying?

The good news in all of this is that it works both ways. If I expect the good and the positive, I will tend to get it. If I expect my team to improve their performance and results, they will raise the level of their game to meet my expectations. If I expect any individual team member to rise to their greatest potential – they will.

It is impossible to fake it. They (expectations) are impossible to hide. So how do you change them?

It is a change in what you believe . . . and that is a big part of who you are.

You tend to get what you expect

How a popular business theme is taken out of context

In their book "Good to Great," Jim Collins and Jerry Porras talk about "the tyranny of the 'or', the genius of the 'and,'" and found that companies that make the leap from good to great refuse to believe that they can't have it all.

Low prices and high quality

Fast and cheap

Quality and quantity

Excellence and cost effective

This profound, easy to understand theme, has unlimited application in life and business. And, because its' meaning is so logical, easy to pick up on and . . . so noble sounding, some have taken this idea out of context. Great companies find a way to have both. Conversely, people in leadership positions that only stumble across this great phrase - with no understanding of the foundation of the principle – simply start demanding the and; they seem to be thinking, if the way you become great is do it all – I want it all, and, tell me all your great ideas and I will demand they be done. Massive difference between "find a way," and "demand."

One must actually read Collin's & Porras's entire book to understand how these companies successfully employ ""the tyranny of the 'or', the genius of the 'and'." These special companies - the Great ones - have unique leaders who approach their people and business in a much different way than the ones that never made the leap.

The word genius in "the genius of the 'and'" implies a brilliance in the approach. To some, it is nearly impossible to understand and the reason why many do not successfully apply it.

In reality, it is only a determined individual or group of people, approaching a problem with unwavering determination, as well as an attitude of cooperation and modesty, prepared to accomplish their desire regardless of ego, precedence or culture. In other words, it has more to do with the people applying the principle, than the principle itself.

You don't have to be a genius, either.

How a popular business theme is taken out of context

Bullies

I was in grade 5, and one of the school bullies, out of the blue, challenged me to a fight after school for no apparent reason. I did what any young boy would do to save face – I said, "ok – what time." The arrangements were made for later that day and we walked away. "Stupid, stupid, what have you done?" "You can't win this fight – why would you agree to it?" screamed the voice in my head. I couldn't win. I was among the smallest in stature in the school and he was three times my size. Of course that is why he picked me. That is what disempowered scared people (a.k.a. bullies) do – they pick on and demean others in order to elevate themselves. The size mismatch guarantees success in their goal.

I had to get out of this – there is no way that I am going to let some big guy with a low self-esteem beat on me. Not showing up is certainly an option, but it makes me look bad and the problem will never go away – we still go to the same school – he is going to get me eventually.

It is has been said, "Necessity is the mother of all invention." I had an idea. I went to the office and asked to speak to the principle. I explained my problem to him from my grade 5 level of understanding. I didn't have work very hard at explaining my idea – he caught on right away and began to reason aloud, "What if I called both of you to the office, and explained to you that I found out about your planned fight after school today?" He paused and then continued, "and what if I was to say that if you went ahead with the fight, there would be big trouble, the strap, suspension or even expulsion – do you think that would end it?" Of course, I agreed with his plan and went back to class.

Within the hour, we were both called to the office. I remember playing the role as we walked to the office, "What do you think this is about?" I asked. "I have no idea," the bully responds and finishes with, "Do you think they know about the fight?"

The principle went through the scenario exactly as planned – even pulled out his strap during the conversation for effect. The shock and awe on the way back from the office included questions and statements by both of us such as, "who do you think told," and "I have no idea." The fight never transpired and the issue was dead.

Whats the point?

The bullies (problems) of life and business will always come at us and you can't always solve them on your own. Sometimes you will need help. In fact, you are almost always better off to collaborate with others when dealing with problems. We often get ourselves into problems and do not have the ability to see our way out of them. There is always more than one solution to a problem, leaning on others helps us to see them.

Don't try to be a hero solving all your own problems – reach out to others. That is why we call it a team.

A final word of advice: Try not to let your pride get in the way of logic when someone or something, three times your size, challenges you to a battle.

To my bully friend, Darcy B. – now you know the rest of the story.

Image by: Mandreww

Bullies

The Cult of Process

I am more interested in the end result than in the means to that result. As long as it is legal, moral and ethical, does it really matter how you get there? Sound process is not only necessary, it is critical. (My simple definition of process: here are the steps and the order to carry them out.) I am not against process – we cannot function effectively without it. However, mistaking the process for the results is detrimental. The danger in blindly following the process without question will almost certainly eliminate innovation – the discovery of a better way.

Personal story:

They were executing the process (procedure) perfectly. Everything was being done as prescribed and they were proud. I commended them on their efforts and achievement of excellence; after all, they were doing what they were told. Then I asked the big question – why. What is the purpose? What is the benefit to what you are doing? Does it solve any problem; save any cost; generate any revenue? In this situation, the process was simply a "feel good" program. It had no benefit to the organization whatsoever.

We need to encourage everyone to ask questions. I tell everyone to find out the "why" before you do anything. There is a dramatic increase in buy-in when people understand the reasons for doing what they do. It is an unfortunate and revealing testimony to leadership to find people in any organization, doing things for which they have no understanding of the reason why they are doing those things.

I am not threatened by questions, by people challenging the status quo. I think that this is a sign of a healthy organization. Personally, I would be embarrassed to find out that people in my organization where doing things for the only reason that I, or someone else, said so.

If we execute the process flawlessly – but do not achieve the desired results, we didn't really win. It is time to re-examine the process.

Does this sound elemental – simple?

Why is it so common?

The Cult of Process

This is a riddle, right?

Recently a friend of mine, and someone who used to work for me, called me to ask for a favour. He is a middle manager and described an awkward situation that he is currently facing at work. He has been advised to do something that is actually impossible to do. I will admit that I believe that nothing is impossible, if, you are able to work outside of the framework or confines that exist. For example: it is not impossible for me to reduce my driving time to any location and the reduction in that time is limited only by the number of laws that I was unwilling to break and my reluctance to leave the regular city streets and go cross country.

However, in my friend's world, there are boundaries and limitations, which make the request made of him impossible to complete. His first response, "So . . . this is a riddle, right?" questioning the legitimacy of the order. It's no riddle and there was no additional direction or assistance provided. This happens to be one of those "I told them to do it – now I wash my hands – and I can't understand why they haven't done it" scenarios. It was a similar mindset that created the culture at Enron culminating in an ethical collapse, which let to its destruction and large wake of financial victims.

In my mind, there are only two possible explanations for asking the people that report to you, to do something that you know is impossible to complete.

1. Cowardice ambition: The directive came to you from your boss and you are only passing it along. You do not question directives – it could cost you.
   
2. Selfish ambition: The directive is yours. To state that you have demanded it will make you look very good and demonstrate that you are tough and demanding.
   

What are we to do?

As a leader – never ask someone to do something that you could not do yourself. The request may be difficult and may stretch your team – this is good – very good. Provide support and direction to get them there. Stand beside them – help them achieve it.

If you are in the situation that my friend is in – you will need to question it. In most cases, and hopefully, the directive has simply been misunderstood.

The reason that my friend called me – the favour that he asked – was a request to use me as a reference when his future employer called. Of course, I said yes. After all, he was one of my best people when he worked on my team.

Losing great talent is just one of the consequences of unreasonable and negative organizational cultures.

Photo by: Sean Dreilinger

This is a riddle, right?

Should leaders ask for help?

I had a business problem. I was not alone - many of my peers had the same business problem. I believe that there is a solution to every problem. Despite our efforts, collaboration and attention on this problem, we had not been able to develop a satisfactory solution. This was quite frustrating. However, as business leaders – all we could do was press on in our attempts to solve.

I was given some advise – some wise council. Why don't you ask for help? My initial thoughts were: executives don't ask for help - executives solve their own problems. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. This is why men don't ask for directions – it shows helplessness – vulnerability. However, the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that this was just pride – I didn't want to look stupid, inadequate. The truth is that we all have weaknesses – we all need help from time to time. Ignoring that is just arrogance.

So, I did the unthinkable – for an executive – I called my boss and asked for help, admitting that I could not solve this business problem on my own.

I would love to report to you that everything worked out – that my boss appreciated my reaching out for help – that the problem was solved and everyone lived happily ever after. I can't.

Regardless of the outcome of my experience, I realized that humility in leadership is essential. Leaning on the team for help in times of need is critical. The absence of positive results from this is does not indicate that it was a bad idea, but rather indicative of weaknesses in the team in general.

In fact, great leaders can identify and react to those who need help. Strong leadership includes the ability to know when to step in and offer assistance. Consequently, the need to reach out for help is generally non-existent in teams led by great leaders.

Have you ever asked for help? What was your experience?

Related Posts:

Great Leaders

Character

Should leaders ask for help?

A humbling reality – our followers become us

Somewhere around four years ago, I experienced one of those notable lessons in my life. Your followers tend to do what you do - rather than what you expect or say.

The follower in this case was my daughter who was 12 years old at the time. We were driving somewhere and were not on time. She was in the back seat and was very aware of the time issue. We were at a stop sign behind one other vehicle. There was a break in the oncoming traffic that would allow both of us to move past the stop sign and after the break was a train of traffic that did not seem to end. The driver of the vehicle in front of us must have been on time because it became clear that they were in no rush to move. Since I like to coach, I do it whenever I have the opportunity, including the coaching of other drivers despite the fact that they can't hear me. On this occasion, I was only mentally thinking about my coaching tips for the driver in front of me, but to my surprise, my daughter verbalized my thoughts. She was speaking out exactly as she had heard me over the many years that we had spent in the car together – and was unconscious of the fact that this was not great behaviour. My first thought was . . . boy am I glad my wife did not hear that. Really, that was my first thought.

But then, flooding my mind was the realization that my daughter(s), for years, have been watching my impatience while driving and would probably display the same behaviour when they begin driving. I had unintentionally taught my kids to do something that I would never want them to do.

Encarta Dictionary definition of "Lead": guide somebody – to show the way to others, usually by going ahead of them.

Leadership is not just as simple as giving instructions and then everyone follows. We speak with our actions.

Related Posts:

What you DO has more effect than what you SAY

Character

A humbling reality – our followers become us

Obstacles

There will sometimes be obstacles. Obstacles are not distractions.

Obstacles are barriers in the way of the Vision – they impede progress. They are real and cannot be ignored. Obstacles don't just go away with hope. If they cannot be taken down, a detour must be built around them.

Some leaders ignore obstacles, thinking that by pretending an obstruction is really just a distraction, it will somehow magically disappear. They demoralize.

Great leaders:

1. Identify and acknowledge obstacles – they do not ignore them or confuse them with distractions.
   
2. Deliberately and quickly collaborate with the team, developing plans and strategies to effectively deal with them.
   
3. Don't allow obstacles to cause them to lose sight of the Vision.

They energize!

Related Posts:

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Listen to those that are closest to your

Obstacles

Privileges

I notice a woman park in a handicap parking spot with a vehicle that has a legitimate handicap parking tag as well as wheelchair lift apparatus. I watch as she walks into the store and realize that she is clearly not physically handicapped.

Just because you can - doesn't mean you should.

When leaders abuse privileges, what message is sent to the rest of the organization? Using company assets, resources or time for personal non-business purposes gives licence for anyone else to do the same. Respect is earned; it is not part of a benefit package that comes with title. Acting with integrity – even when you think no one is watching – will earn respect.

That means: always do the right thing.

If you are the leader – you are the standard – you set the example.

Everyone is a leader, is some way, in some forum.

Privileges

Great Leaders

I am currently in the midst of a career transition.

Many people have stepped out to help me during this transition in various ways. Friends, family, colleagues – some people that I have not spoken to in years – and even some that I have just met.

If you have ever been unemployed, you understand how much it means to have people on your side – doing what they can to help.

Great leaders understand that: the more people they can help - push up - the more successful they themselves become. They find fulfillment in helping and investing in others and there are no dividing lines between their personal and professional life when it comes to relationships. I am grateful that so many have crossed my path.

If you know someone that is in between jobs, careers or vocations, help them out. Introduce them to someone in your network, refer them to a potential employer – forward their resume, or just take them for coffee and listen to them.

Your acts of kindness will never be forgotten.

Great Leaders care about other people.

Photo by: FotoFling Scotland

Great Leaders

Character

A recent discussion on LinkedIn began with the question, "The one quality a successful leader should "NOT" possess, according to you would be... ." The following are a summary of some of the responses provided by various participants:

• Arrogance – Not to be confused with confidence
  
• Cowardice
  
• Inability to listen (to people with organization, customer, leader's, survey or even our own intuition)
  
• Taking all credit for success & blaming others for failure
  
• Fear
  
• Greed
  
• Too rigid
  
• Big ego
  
• Refusing to admit their mistakes
  

As I survey this list, the one word that comes to mind is "character". Leadership is about character. Good character = good leadership, bad character = bad leadership. How do you define character? The dictionary that I found on my desk (The Merriam Webster) reads; the complex of mental and ethical traits marking a person or group. The Encarta Dictionary reads; distinctive qualities; the set of qualities that make somebody or something distinctive, especially somebody's qualities of mind and feeling.

Character is who you are – it determines how you will react in any given situation. It is your conscience, habits, beliefs and attitudes. The shaping and forming of your character starts when you are very young and continues throughout your life. The modeling of your character depends upon how you deal with and react to the events and situations that come at you in life. It comes out of the choices that you have made in life.

The bittersweet part is; the greater the challenge in life – the greater the character building opportunity. Those that have faced the biggest trials in life have the most profound character. However, depending on the choices made in life – some people's character is overwhelmingly positive and some negative. This is the reason that when hiring for key leadership positions, wise organizations look for failure or crisis in the background of the applicants. They understand that those who have come through major challenges successfully will be much better leaders than those who have not.

I write both to share, and to learn. The writing of this article has helped me to answer a question that has plagued me for many years. I have always believed that leadership is not something that you were born with and that it cannot just be taught – it must be learned – it is a skill, but more than that. I have encountered many over the years that have had profound problems with leadership. In order to try to "fix" them, they were sent off to some kind of leadership school. They usually return with a new lease on life and profound revelation on leadership. While, there is usually some change, the old negative traits are still in them and eventually find their way to the surface. Based on this, I began to doubt that someone could change his or her ability to lead. Intuitively, I knew that they were not born with a certain style, but yet, I could not reconcile this issue.

My epiphany is character. I can study and learn about positive, influential leadership principles and become a leading expert on the subject. But, it is my character that allows or prevents me from using them [principles]. To change my leadership, I need to first change my character.

So, how does one change their character? Make better decisions in reaction to what life brings you. The problem is that one has to be willing to accept that their character is flawed in order to make the necessary changes. That takes humility.

So if all this is true, why is the price of admission to many organizations, letters beside your name signifying a business degree? How can we determine character? Ask those that have been exposed to it – not those that have seen an act or performance (superiors) – ask those that have seen the real (subordinates).

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Character