Character is Key

If you ever get the opportunity to be on the reality TV series Survivor, know this: those who swear their allegiance to you by anything or anyone are the ones that you should not trust.

Those who use phrases and / or idioms to emphasize their intent typically demonstrate duplicitous qualities.

• Swearing by (someone or something) to show true sincerity.
• "Cross my heart hope to die," to accentuate honesty.
• "I really mean it," when used to emphasize audacious statements.
• "Just kidding," when it means, "I am really serious but I just saw the look of offence on your face and need to backpedal because I am afraid you will be angry with me."

The brutal reality is: how we do anything is how we do everything. Our intuition informs us to be reluctant with trust towards those who feel the need to "swear by" and put extra emphasis on their oaths. Deep down inside we instinctively know that what we hear in their words will translate to their actions. Those who are wise heed their intuition and are cautious. Anyone that has had their trust violated will realize in hindsight that they ignored their intuition about that individual. Our intuition is a powerful thing and will help to avoid many problems – listen to it.

Am I saying that everyone who says these types of things has an insincere character? Yes, actually I am. And no I am not kidding. Start examining the character of those you know who make these types of statements, either you are already suspicious of their character or you have been ignoring your intuition.

Leaders will be forgiven for almost any mistake except for those that stem from weak character and behaviour that destroys trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil. Mathew 5:37

Character is Key

Strange messages

Have you seen an email "out of office attendant" message that reads along these lines?

"Sorry I didn't get your message . . . on vacation until . . . I will have only limited access to email, etc," (italics mine).

First, why would someone be sorry for not seeing a message while on vacation?

Second, why do people feel guilty for having only limited access to email while on vacation? Doesn't this builds an expectation that they are actually going to respond to a message, only a little later than usual. Therefore, vacation simply means emails are answered but with a delay?

What would happen if you didn't answer a single message while on vacation? What if the people sending you email had to make a decision on their own?

Consider this out of office message: "On vacation. Make a decision. You will most likely make the right one. If you do screw up – great! We always learn best from our mistakes."

How about this one: "On vacation. When I get back I will be deleting every email in my inbox. If your message was really important please send to me again when I return."

What if you actually did this [deleted the messages]? Bet you would have a great first day back from vacation.

Strange messages

Tough Love

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if your kids are still living at home at the age of 40 – it is likely not their fault. It's yours! Neither is it the fault of your employees in business, if they are completely incapable of making a decision without you! In parenting we call it tough love; in business it is called empowerment, but they are quite similar.

I overheard an executive making a call to one of her subordinates. She was communicating that a CEO, apparently important to their business, was going to be in town. This executive wanted the subordinate to be present during the meet with the CEO. The executive provided the usual details regarding time and location, but then she instructed this person on what to wear!

Sure, there is a chance they will show up wearing a wife-beater and rubber boots, or their prom dress from the 80s – but that isn't that how we learn?

Tough Love