WARNING: The following will likely cause the "politically correct" to get offended – read at your own risk
People and groups getting offended or insulted; it is happening with increasing frequency, especially in the public arenas of life. A politician, public figure or celebrity speaks their mind (God forbid) and says something that is not quite politically correct … or in some cases extremely un-politically correct. Then come the voices - the whining - the cries for justice because … sob, sob … what they said offended me. I want an apology. I demand an apology.
I expect that the following must have happened to some of us as kids – not me – so I will have to use what I see in movies and on TV. Little Johnny does something rude or physically assaults his brother or sister. Little Johnny's brother / sister goes to Mom (why is it always Mom?) and tattles. Mom demands that little Johnny apologizes to little sister / brother. Little Johnny reluctantly says that he is sorry and life goes back to normal.
Did anyone really believe that little Johnny was sorry? No. Not little Johnny's brother / sister; not Mom or the viewer watching this play out on TV (or in real life is this happened to you). Why does it play out like this?
- Mom orchestrates this in order to resolve the situation and reinstate peace – it is much quicker than an inquiry, coaching and performance management.
- Little brother / sister tattled to gain the upper hand; to take control; a power play; this is how they get little Johnny to submit.
The problem is that little Johnny's brother and sister have not outgrown this infantile drama play, and now as adults, continue to solve their problems (hurt feelings) in the same manner. The script plays out almost exactly the same but with different characters. The boss, like-minded groups of people, or the media play Mom. Little Johnny's brother / sister are the overgrown babies. The only difference in the script (other than I am not talking about physical assault with adults) is that little Johnny (now big Johnny) is not always guilty. Sometimes he is, but more often than not, he is a victim of simply saying what he really thinks and feels. Shouldn't be a crime (offense), and in most situations it is not. However, if I can make you apologize; agree with me that you didn't really mean what you said - even though you did, I win – you look bad – I look good at your expense.
Please understand that I am not talking about slanderous comments or racial bigotry. I am talking about differences of opinions. I would site examples, but for reasons mentioned in this blog post, I am afraid of opening a can of worms and offending certain people or groups.
It is this kind of preschool drama that creates and continues to fuel the political correctness that we see in society today. People are becoming afraid to say what they really feel and think because someone might get offended. Government politics has become an art in anticipating and judging what to say or not to say in order to get re-elected. In many organizations, depending on the culture, the way that you say things is more important that what you say and a difference of opinion could be career ending. Politics, or political correctness is one of the most problematic diseases that business, organizations, governments and society face today.
I am certainly not advocating that people should be allowed to spout off with no consequences whatsoever. But, a few seconds of rational thought would make one realize that when you force someone to apologize, you are not changing what they really feel but are instead forcing their true feelings underground. Why don't we let society take care of those that say harmful things? The most effective way to take care of a loudmouth is to let them sink themselves with their own words. If society and right minded thinking individuals do not shut them down, and their voice continues to be heard, I suggest that it was probably worth hearing – even if some felt insulted by it. If we cut everyone off that has ever said something unpopular, our world would be much worse off. I believe that Martin Luther King Jr. said some things that were considered unpopular in his time. I wonder if he would be allowed to say the things he said if all the circumstances of that story played out today. Of course he was silenced in a much different manner.
The truth is, that the choice to be offended, or not – is yours. Regardless of what you hear – what someone says or does to you or your cause - you can choose to let it run off you like water off a duck. Or you can decide to whine and pout and demand an apology. Your choice.
End note: I apologize ahead of time if the words written above have offended anyone.
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